


Falling After You

by brokenhighways



Category: Smallville, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, Character Study, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:28:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29839476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: Five times Clark tries to downplay his feelings for Lois and one time he doesn't.
Relationships: Clark Kent/Lois Lane
Comments: 13
Kudos: 13
Collections: Lois & Clark (Smallville)





	Falling After You

_Bes_ _ides, who knows where we'd be if you'd answered that question. (8x05, Committed)_

The elevator doors closed slowly, leaving Clark standing there. It was like he was a freeze-frame, trapped in motion and the events of the past few days were finally catching up with him. For one, while pretending to be _engaged_ to Lois had come with the usual bout of annoyance, he had to admit that not one single person had questioned them. Even Oliver seemed to accept it after they assured him that they were being serious.

It's not that the idea of him and Lois was so out there - he remembered their love potion/Red Kryptonite incident (it was painted on his brain much like the tattoo Lois had worn on her chest). Things with Lana just seemed so... recent. Too soon for him to feel anything for someone else let alone Lois. Lois was... Lois, and if Clark had a penny for every time he'd thought that he'd be a rich man. They played the part of bickering best friends well, but she'd helped him more than anyone after Lana left. Whenever he had an issue, he knew he could count on her to offer some insight he couldn't see.

Hearing that she _loved_ him was the craziest yet most logical thing, which only made him more confused. It didn't help that even when she'd been avoiding him, he still couldn't keep away. Braving the awkwardness was better than letting her go at all even if they couldn't engage in their usual back and forth.

In typical Lois fashion, she'd rolled her heart back into place and flipped the situation on him. Now he was standing in an unmoving elevator wondering what his answer _would_ have been knowing fully well that it wouldn't have been _no_.

Maybe something in between, and that terrified him. The elevator whirred into action and Clark inhaled and exhaled gently.

It was clear that the best option here was denial.

_+_

_Who's the unlucky guy? (8x07)_

Clark didn't consider himself a simple man, but he knew that his approach to life could be naive at times. He got so caught up in the big picture that he missed the small details. Like being so focused on _saving_ people and following his destiny that he'd never considered that anyone would catch him. Now Jimmy Olsen was circling his secret and stopping him was the only thing on his mind.

He was so determined that he blurred into the Talon apartment through the open window. It was one of the reckless behaviours he'd tried to leave behind in Smallville, but in a way, his current predicament was very much reminiscent of Smallville. Hiding who he was wasn't easy in a small town. Metropolis was supposed to be a welcome change from that. A chance for him to be a small fish in a big pond. Unfortunately, Lois's competitive nature had rubbed off on Jimmy and here they were.

Speaking of Lois, she was here in a red dress that didn't leave much to the imagination. Not that he was imagining _anything_. The lie rolled off his tongue when she rightfully accused him of going through Jimmy's stuff. Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't call him on it. She never did. There were some days when Clark thought he could tell her the truth and she'd accept it so long as his heart was in the right place.

Not that any of it mattered when she told him she had a _date_. With some new hire at The Daily Planet he'd been too busy to look into. The wave of jealousy that hit him was so swift and abrupt he could have sworn he floated for a nanosecond. There was nothing between them. They were just friends. So why did it feel like he was losing her? Why didn't he want to leave the apartment until he'd sent her date far, far away?

He was still figuring it out when Lois ushered him out and shut the door in his face. He scoffed and took a step back. Something was _off_ here. It wasn't like Lois to invite a prospective boyfriend to her apartment on the _first_ day, not unless she was trying to butter the guy up... for a story, probably.

If Clark programmed a special ringer for her on his phone in case she called later, it was just because she'd developed this habit of getting herself into trouble. Not because he cared deeply about her or anything.

_+_

_No one's gonna mess with Lois and Clark (8x08, Bloodline)_

The blistering winds cut into Clark's lips, cracking the skin leaving his mouth dry and he knew he'd made a terrible mistake. The voice in his head which sounded suspiciously like Jor-El berated him for not using his X-ray vision before he opened the package Lois had handed him. For picking up the crystal at all with Lois around. It didn't matter that he trusted her enough to let his guard down. To not worry about slipping up. None of it matters now that they were _here_.

In the Phantom Zone, with the stark contrast of his alien origins and Lois's humanity plain to see. This was his life, but she was innocent. His heart broke when she began to panic and even though he had no idea how they'd get out of here, he _had_ to reassure her. If only so he'd be able to focus. Seeing the anguish on her face and hearing the naked fear in her voice hit him like a fist to the face. All he wanted was to protect her, even at the cost of his own life...

... and that was more terrifying than being trapped here in the first place.

+

_I thought that someone needed me (8x10, Bride)._

Clark wondered how he'd ended up back _here_. In the uncertain land where his relationship with Lana Lang lived. Since her impromptu appearance at Chloe's wedding, he'd been out of sorts. Their conversation, while long overdue, had left him uneasy and unable to focus.

Worst of all, he kept circling back to _Lois_ and he'd messed that up now. He hadn't seen her since he'd almost kissed her, hadn't even considered her when Lana appeared and he could hear his mother now chiding him gently in that all-knowing way of hers.

He tuned out the hustle and bustle of the reception, focusing on Lois's heartbeat and after a few seconds, her voice sounded loud and clear in his ears. She was talking to Oliver and there was no mistaking the hurt she felt. He knew he was the cause and that it should have been _him_ talking to her. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to face her. He felt trapped, and seeing Lana… brought everything back.

Every fear.

Every lie.

Every mistake he'd made.

His friendship with Lois was always different. With Chloe, she deferred to him and made him feel like he was an imposter masquerading as the man she _thought_ he was. Pete has struggled to find a place with Clark by his side and Lex... well, the less said the better. The point was that he _couldn't_ lose her. He didn't want to push away the only person he felt something akin to normal around.

This sudden realisation was a crushing blow compared to the revelation he'd had hours earlier. He'd been struck by a simple thought when Lois appeared on the stairs. How beautiful she looked, like an ethereal queen floating down a winding pathway heading towards her castle. It seemed trite almost, the staircase moment, but it was the precipice of what had been building up for weeks.

Here, with no one around them, he could no longer hide from the truth.

What he had with Lois was something more, and... it never worked out for him. Giving in to that _deeper_ connection always ended badly. He would only destroy her life somehow or worse - get her killed, and in the wake of the destruction that occurred after Lana showed up, he knew he was headed down a destructive path.

The same way he knew she'd never come back if he ruined it - and at this juncture, with Chloe gone and Lana _here_ \- there was no way he wouldn't.

So he let her go.

+

_What I've really been wondering is... what do you need? (8x19, Stiletto)_

The voice modifier was one he'd borrowed from Oliver. The idea was... well, it just _was_ . Chloe was in her own world, Oliver was on a destructive path and he desperately needed someone who _understood_ him and... she did. It was in her eyes when she spoke about how lonely it was when she'd briefly gone down the hero path. It wasn't about a story for her, not entirely and he knew.

He _did_ need her.

They were just friends on the outside. Lois and Clark, Daily Planet reporters/reluctant friends. He didn't dare approach her as Clark Kent, not when it was clear she was still feeling awkward about their relationship (or lack thereof). Clark knew he could end it all. Tell her the truth and cut the tension that bled around him, but... Lana still hovered like an echo in a mirror.

"What I've really been wondering is... what do you need?"

The question caught him off guard. Nobody cared about the man behind the saves, at least not really. The destruction he saw, the exhaustion he felt. The pain that came with being too late. It didn't inspire hope or help people. He wore his scars in silence never expecting to share them until now.

"What do you mean?"

Lois was uncharacteristically nervous, and he watched her twirl her hair around her finger and slump against the edge of the phonebooth. "You save people. You've saved me _multiple_ times. And you don't ask for anything in return, but...who's watching over you? Who's there to save you?"

"Save me?" Clark felt like an idiot repeating her words back at her, but he'd been prepared to respond to her open letter. He was ready to give her an interview - anything to keep her from endangering herself again. Somehow, and in true Lois fashion, she'd managed to flip the script on him.

"Yeah. From yourself. I've been down the hero road before. Well. That's supposed to be a secret, but hey, who are you going to tell?" Lois chuckled. "I know what it does to a person. How it takes over your whole world. I couldn't reach that other hero, but I thought I'd try with you. You've been there for me several times... I'd like to return the favour."

It would have been so damn _easy_ to risk it all and speed over to the phonebooth. If only Clark was ready to take that super leap of faith. If only he wasn't terrified of his feelings. Too scared to admit to what had been bubbling under the surface for _years_. To admit what he'd always known since he saw her in that cornfield.

Lois Lane was special - in her own way, in the world of journalism, to Oliver, to Chloe and most importantly to him.

_+_

_Clark Kent is dead (8x22, Doomsday)._

+

He stood on a rooftop overlooking the main street, scanning the phone booth with every weapon in his arsenal. It was pointless and he was only hurting himself, but he'd long become numb anyway. The phone booth was the _one_ real connection he had with her. He'd given up on The Daily Planet, and the farm echoed with too many memories of the people he'd lost.

Adding Lois to that list was unfathomable, so he didn't. He told himself she would be back. There was no Clark Kent without Lois Lane. He _needed_ her. Maybe he always had. Desperate to hide from the pain, he holed up in the fortress, undergoing the training he'd denied himself for so long. It was the only thing that kept him sane. The notion that _one_ day he'd be the saviour he needed to be. He'd be able to protect the ones he loved from all harm, not just what he could _see_ but what he couldn't.

When he wasn't at the fortress, he threw himself into saving people. Every night, there was a moment when he slipped up and begged whoever was out there to send Lois back. To let her be one of the people he saved. It was the last whisper of hope he clung to, buried so deep Jor-El couldn't see it even if he tried.

A loud screeching noise cut into his thoughts and it sounded like it was coming out from the other side of town. The anguished cries hit him next, too many all at once and he quickly deduced it was the monorail. He kicked up his speed and whizzed across town, willing himself to go faster. He could hear the faint sound of panicked heartbeats indistinguishable from each other.

At least until he caught the carriage in his hands, straining against the weight and taking a second to right his stance. It was then that he heard it, the soft flutter of a familiar heartbeat. He almost didn't dare to look up, but when he did…

...it was her.

It was Lois, pressed against the glass unconscious but _breathing_.

A warm glow of light spilled into the atmosphere, staining the crevices of the shadows and the darkness drained from his body.

He smiled his first smile in weeks and just like that he knew.

She was the one he needed; the one he'd _always_ needed, and for the first time since their paths crossed, his eyes were wide open.


End file.
